First-person documentary filmmaking : an ethical act or an act of betrayal?

This practice-based Ph.D. involves the making of a 50-minute essay film, Lessons Between the Lines (2025) - an intimate portrait of Monika a psychodynamic therapist whose childhood was shaped by her parents' alcoholism. I gathered testimony of Monika’s life through interviews carried out between 2020 and 2025. The project raises ethical questions about filming someone talking about their most private experiences, but it also became a mirror for my own story. The central question running through this thesis is whether the documentary filmmaker’s very act of filming betrays the filmed person - and whether first-person filmmaking can be an ethical act rather than an act of betrayal. I am a self-reflective researcher and practitioner with a background in filmmaking and a strong personal interest in psychoanalysis. I grew up in Warsaw, the son of an alcoholic father, and I attended an ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) support group too. The thesis draws on Piotrowska’s psychoanalytic framework for documentary ethics, Rascaroli’s work on the essay film, and Nichols’ documentary modes, and identifies a gap in existing scholarship: the absence of work by and about filmmakers who are both ACA and LGBTQ+. In response, I propose the concept of the transformative essay film - a form of first-person documentary in which both the filmmaker and the subject are genuinely changed by the process. I believe this project reflects not only Monika’s experiences but also my own, and working on it has had a huge impact on my private life. The research finds that when a filmmaker and subject share a relationship built on trust and co-ownership, the transference dynamic that Piotrowska identifies as ethically dangerous can become the basis of something honest and transformative. Monika’s response at the first screening confirmed that she did not feel betrayed. This project is far more than a confessional portrait - it is an investigation into my own identity, and an argument that intimate, first-person filmmaking can be an ethical act under certain circumstances.

Grantor dc:publisher

Oxford Brookes University

Author dc:creator

• Koper, Ireneusz

Contributors dc:contributor

• Piotrowska, Agnieszka
• Ireneusz Koper
• Buckland, Warren

Statement dc:rights

• All rights reserved

Language dc:language

en

DOI dc:identifier

https://doi.org/10.24384/krt3-p623

OAI identifier oai:identifier

tle:3d264864-1625-4b6a-9eb0-3988d75103b3:d6bd9758-527a-46cd-bfe2-c433766e8fca:1