My kids are then my life : mothering in the context of intimate partner violence
Intimate partner violence is a pervasive public health problem in South Africa, which has devastating effects on a victim’s emotional and physical wellbeing. These abused women often need to parent their children under aversive conditions. With the aim of capturing abused women’s mothering experiences using their own voice, twelve mothers from four shelter facilities in the Cape Metropole engaged in individual, semi-structured interviews. A grounded analysis of the data, located within a phenomenological framework, revealed that the women’s investment in their intimate relationship and mothering were intertwined, with their commitment to the former taking precedence during the earlier part of the relationship given their desire for a loving relationship. The accumulative effects of increased violence, increased awareness of the impact of IPV on their mother-child relationship and children’s wellbeing, coupled with diminished faith in their partner’s ability to change motivated the women to disinvest from their intimate relationship and invest in their mothering. This study provides insight into the subjective mothering experiences of abused women, with due consideration to their process of abuse. Future research which pays equal and simultaneous attention to abused women’s experiences of mothering and their relationship with their partner will be useful in contextualising abused women’s mothering by considering the influence of their intimate relationship. Parenting programmes, in shelter and community settings within South Africa, which adopt a collaborative approach whereby abused women are actively involved in setting outcome goals, may assist abused women to focus on their positive maternal attributes and encourage a supportive and comforting climate amongst abused women.
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