Live Or Die? Exploring the Suicidal Ambivalence Among Suicide Attempt Survivors: a Qualitative Study
Suicide is a major public health concern, particularly among young adults, who have some of the highest suicide rates in the United States. While many studies discuss the risk and protective factors related to suicide, there is limited understanding of the phenomenon beyond these aspects. One such aspect is suicidal ambivalence, which refers to the co-occurring desire to live and die. Existing risk assessments mostly use dichotomous measures, which do not fully capture the complexity of suicide. Therefore, this qualitative study examined the understanding of and experience with suicidal ambivalence among young adult suicide attempt survivors. Guided by a phenomenological research approach, 19 young adult attempt survivors in the U.S. were interviewed using a semi-structured interview guide. Thematic analysis methods by Braun and Clarke (2006) were used, which resulted in eight themes in three areas: their description of suicidal ambivalence (internal conflict, its dynamic nature, and a source of comfort), their experience with it (conflicting desires and numbness), and their strategies for managing suicidal ambivalence (seeking help, developing new beliefs about themselves, and cultivating a sense of purpose). Findings suggest the complexity of suicidal ambivalence, along with its fluctuating nature, leads to different perceptions of ambivalence among attempt survivors. Future research should explore how suicidal ambivalence can serve as a protective factor as it relates to supporting the long-term well-being of suicide attempt survivors for social work practice, research, and policy.
Lived Experience, Qualitative Study, Suicidal Ambivalence, Suicide, Suicide Attempt Survivors, Young Adults
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